navigating life as a gay man in china: a personal journey

life for individuals exploring their sexuality in china has seen shifts over time. prior to the mid-20th century, historical accounts suggest a degree of acceptance for same-sex relationships. our experiences as a gay couple traveling through china revealed a vibrant lgbtq+ community, optimistic about gradual societal progress.

during our visit to xi'an, we had the opportunity to speak with cass chen, who shared his personal narrative of growing up as a gay man in china and his decision to pursue a new life abroad.

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we strongly recommend utilizing a virtual private network (vpn) for your travels in china, as it is essential for accessing many international websites and services.

cass, originally from xi'an, spent years managing a popular hostel, engaging with travelers from across the globe. he eventually relocated to new zealand to establish a new chapter in his life.

cass's journey of self-discovery began around the age of 25, following his first intimate experience with another man.

this realization solidified his understanding of his own identity and his attraction to men.

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  • prior to this, he had attempted to pursue relationships with women, but found the experiences unfulfilling and not aligned with his true feelings.

    following his acceptance of his sexuality, cass began to confide in his closest friends, who offered their support and acceptance.

    while a few relationships unfortunately ended due to his coming out, cass views this as a positive outcome, leading him to surround himself with more supportive individuals. he has not yet disclosed his sexual orientation to his family and does not anticipate doing so in the near future.

    chinese society, cass explained, is largely characterized by conservative and heteronormative expectations.

    the prevailing social narrative for men often emphasizes securing stable employment, achieving financial success, marrying a woman, and starting a family. identifying as gay diverges significantly from these deeply ingrained societal norms, leading cass to believe his family would not be accepting of his identity.

    this societal pressure was a significant factor in his decision to emigrate and build a life in new zealand, a place where he feels he can live authentically.

    the journey to self-acceptance

    cass's late realization of his sexuality serves as a poignant indicator of the challenges faced by gay individuals in china.

    it wasn't until he left his hometown and began working in the tourism sector that he encountered openly gay people and learned more about homosexuality. this exposure to a diverse range of individuals from around the world, including gay couples, proved instrumental in his personal journey of acceptance.

    many of cass's gay friends growing up faced similar obstacles.

    the fear of jeopardizing career prospects often led them to conceal their identities. some were compelled to lead dual lives to appease family expectations. while china has certainly evolved, and the landscape for gay individuals is more navigable than it was for cass's generation, it remains far from an entirely liberating environment.

    navigating public perception and societal pressures

    accessing information and community online, particularly with the assistance of a vpn, has been a crucial lifeline for many.

    cass himself did not face overt hostility but acknowledges that some of his openly gay acquaintances have encountered difficult situations, often stemming from family members. the challenges extend beyond personal relationships, with broader societal acceptance remaining a significant hurdle.

    for those seeking to explore asia and connect with the lgbtq+ community, organizations like out adventures offer a range of curated tours.

    from the bustling streets of india to the serene landscapes of japan, their itineraries showcase the continent's diverse cultures and attractions, with options catering to gay travelers. hiking enthusiasts might find the mount everest base camp trek in nepal appealing, while culinary adventurers could gravitate towards their thailand tours.

    for those seeking truly unique experiences, out adventures' expeditions to mongolia present an unparalleled opportunity to venture off the beaten path.

    in xi'an, the city where cass spent his formative years, several gay bars and clubs have historically existed, with the more recent addition of saunas.

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  • as a young man grappling with his burgeoning sexuality, cass initially found these venues intimidating and opted to connect with others through online chat rooms. eventually, he gathered the courage to visit the physical establishments.

    today, platforms like grindr, scruff, and hornet have made it significantly easier for young gay men in china to connect and find community.

    shanhai pride, held annually in june, stands as a pivotal event, representing the largest and most prominent pride celebration in mainland china. its establishment in 2009 marked a significant milestone, being the first pride event of its kind in the country.

    legal and social progress

    the landscape surrounding lgbtq+ rights in china is in a state of ongoing evolution.

    homosexuality was decriminalized in 1997, and in 2001, the ministry of health officially removed it from its classification of mental disorders. this signifies a generational shift, with younger generations growing up with a more progressive understanding of the lgbtq+ community compared to their parents' upbringing.

    while progress is undeniable, the fight for full equality continues, presenting a substantial challenge.

    prominent figures like li yinhe, a pioneering chinese sexologist and vocal advocate for lgbtq+ rights, have openly criticized the government's censorship of content related to the community. li yinhe recounted an instance where her public call for an end to censorship on the social media platform weibo was quickly removed by moderators.

    under recent guidelines issued by the china netcasting services association, a panel of auditors is tasked with reviewing online content to ensure its alignment with "advanced socialist culture." these regulations are part of a broader government initiative to exert control over online discourse, encompassing the censorship of live streaming, news, and social media content.

    this follows a previous crackdown a year prior, which saw regulations introduced to ban the portrayal of homosexuality on television, citing a need to curb "vulgar, immoral, and unhealthy content."

    several chinese gay dating applications have also faced closure.

    the lesbian dating app rela, which boasted over five million users, was recently shut down. homosexuality itself is not illegal in china, and its reclassification away from mental illness in 2001 was a significant step. however, tim hildebrandt, an assistant professor at the london school of economics, notes that the recent censorship of homosexual content is particularly surprising.

    historically, homosexuality has been viewed more as an anomaly rather than a societal threat, primarily posing a challenge to conformity within traditional family structures.

    hildebrandt describes the latest online content regulations concerning homosexuality as "particularly worrisome." he emphasizes that these rules extend to any depiction of homosexuality in online videos.

    for gay individuals in china, the internet has historically served as one of the few safe havens for connecting with others within the community, facilitating both platonic friendships and romantic relationships.

    wenxiong, a chinese student currently studying in the united states, likens the recent online ban on homosexual content to the cultural revolution, expressing that it feels like a forceful suppression of gay life by the government.

    this article was authored by kayleen devlin, with additional reporting by vincent ni.

    all our stories can be found on bbc.